Culture Night: Our Style

Tonight, we vowed that this would be the best night EVER. Did we fail? Absolutely...NOT. We went to a super ghetto German restaurant in Seaside, then went off to Spanish Bay, where we were hit on by a band of middle aged men from Mexico. We have some great tips for you guys! When in the face of chaos, STAY STRONG.

Ella Mentry and I had high hopes for this evening, and as mentioned above, we were certainly not disappointed. The night's festivities begin with us meeting up with two good friends at this mildly frightening looking restaurant. Having never dined "German style" before, Ella Mentry and myself chose to share the Housse Platte, which basically consisted of samples of various German cuisine. Some were good, some...you get the picture. To give you an accurate portrayal of our dinner experience: we were scolded for not cleaning our plates, and my WATER cost me $4. Is that even legal, I ask you??
Next my friends, we thought we would be able to meet Jay Leno perhaps relaxing by the fire pits in Pebble Beach... instead I meet "Juan" (an alias for sure) and company, who claimed to be my future husband. Did I mention he was 42 and had the biggest nose I've seen in a while? Not to mention the fact that he accused us of being lesbian twins. He thought his wildest dreams came true! Sadly for him, he was set straight by me. Luckily our supreme social skills allowed us to gracefully (gracefully is used loosely in this sentence) exit the situation. In all seriousness, had we been more stupid, we could have been kidnapped and transported to Mexico by morning.

[Wrightless Smalls]

I am pretty positive this could be the funniest post yet. So, Wrightless and I go to meet our friends Kelly and Lisa(names have been changed to protect our buddies) at this Seaside German Restaurant-sounds sketch already right? We get there before our friends, so we walk into what appears to be a miniature Germany on the corner, and bottom, of a laundromat/ apartment building. A short, blatantly German(accent included), man approaches us and says "You have reservation?" We respond with "No." He rebuttals "Oh, girls I'm sorry all our tables are full! You make reservations next time." We proceeded to leave, shocked that this place could possibly be full. As we step out, we run into our friends and begin to discuss where the heck we should go in the ghetto parking lot. No later than 10 minutes, the short German man bursts from the restaurant and yells "Oh girls! I have table for you! Someone cancelled." Again, we are shocked. We sit down, and he tells me that he thinks I've been there before. I haven't. Wrightless and I split the "Hausplate" which has EVERYTHING German on it. We eat, and soon discover that the owners are very persuasive. They won't let us have desert until we've eaten everything, then we are forced to eat "black forest cake." The wife/chef/owner comes to take our plates and says that this cherry we left over must be eaten. I ate it: worst decision ever- SO GROSS.

Anyway, then we decided to go to Spanish Bay in the hope of meeting Jay Leno. Instead, we got a group of well off, very drunk, middle aged Mexican men hitting on us and trying to buy us drinks. Juan was outrageous and nearly followed us to our car. Paco kept trying to buy us stuff. Also, one of them in a pink shirt gave me a Spanish lesson. Needless to say, there was a lot of space invading, leg touching , and alcohol breath; AND NO JAY LENO. Oh well, at least tonight was hilarious.

So ladies, if you're in a bind. Don't drink. Don't let drunk men convince you they can drive you places. Say you have rich powerful fiances named James and Tom.
~Ella Mentry~

P.S. Don't let German people convince you to buy dessert and eat disgusting cherries.