20$ fo Nothing

Dear Readers,

Sorry. 

Our bad.

B-Money was roaming in the woods for a week while G-Rizz took finals, so we were unable to fill your brains with our extensive knowledge. Thank you for staying strong; we will make it up to you. 

xoxo, G-Rizz and B-Money

G-Rizz

So last night was the dumbest of summer nights. Two open houses, meaning two great partying opportunities, and what do we get? NOTHIN.

I spent twenty dollars on an eighteen pack, only to have it snatched before my very eyes. Talk about stupid. What's the point of having an open house if no fun can occur?? 

Luckily for us, the week is only beginning. Stay tuned for ridiculous posts.

Oh, and my quest for a job is failing. Meaning pretty soon I won't even have twenty bucks to waste on Bud Light. Damn these rough economic times.

SHUT UP AND LISTEN

[g-rizz]

B$,

      Top o' the morning to ya! I've missed you guys! Pain in me hole ahahahha I just love saying that little irish saying from PS I love you(great film; go see it). Anyways! We were going to have an exciting night and then we didn't because the drinkys got commandeered by a spinster.  Oh welllllll... this week is going to be awesome. we love you guys! Aight. Peace out alfalfa sprouts!

    {B$}

Post Script:

    Gerard Butler is mighty fine.

Horatio!

Dear Readers,

            

      Personally, we watch a good amount of CSI Miami, and we LOVE Horatio! He is so suave and mysterious! Horatio gives us amazing advice every show; for example: "600,000 dollars is a lot of money," and "You can't breathe... when you're dead." Horatio is hilarious and we love him. Now we will each give him a tribute. We have mad love for you Horatio, and stay strong readers!

          xoxo,

               G-rizz and B-money

G-Rizz

Horatio is very "real." I personally enjoy the way he whips off his sunglasses very briskly as his fluff of hair on the top of this head flutters about in the breeze, and says something simple and wise such as "When you have everything, sometimes it feels like nothing." , or "The problem with manipulation is that people can turn on you." 

He always solves the crime of the episode with grace, speed and daring, somehow managing to keep his suit looking crisp, and his complexion smooth. If I ever have a burning life-question, I will definitely seek out my man Horatio. He will look at my shoes and tell me just what I need to hear. 

Who doesn't just love that?

SHUT UP AND LISTEN

[g-rizz]

B$

    Horatio is my man! He is so wise. He never looks anyone in the eye when he's talking to them, and he has those snazzy sunglasses. Plus, he drives a hummer. What more could you want in a man?! Hats off to you Horatio! Hats off to you!

   With the utmost respect and admiration,

                {B$}

Poemz.

Dear Readers,

          Today we are going to both write 2 original poems and release them to you! Congrats you lucky readers! Stay Strong.

         xoxo,

             G-Rizz and B-Money

G-Rizz

           FINALS

How did I do on my test?

If I didn't get an A then that would be mess't

I studied a lot, 

and somehow forgot

That water cannot be substituted with caffeine. 

Finals are oh so mean!

SHUT UP AND LISTEN

[g-rizz]

B$

                      Oscar The Grouch

     Oscar the Grouch sat alone on my couch

     and griped 'til the end of the day

     he caused me disdain and he drove me insane

     and for some reason I didn't send him away.

  {B$}

     

        

    

Hannah Montana

Dear Readers,

     Today we bring to light a very important subject in todays world, it is none other than...HANNAH MONTANA! Do you like her? Do we like her? Is she human?

   Read on and stay strong!

        xoxo,

            G-Rizz and B-Money

G-Rizz

Maybe I am being overly rude about Hannah Montana because I am in rotten spirits at the moment, but I can't stand the bitch. I am tired of seeing her blonde hair all over, and her annoying lyrics make me want to pierce my tympanic membranes. My bad, my ear drums for all you non-scientific folks out there.

She is right up there on my Hate Scale with High School Musical. I think what annoys me the most about such fads is that there is 1) little talent involved, and 2) high school and college girls are falling into a trap that is means for "tweens". Come on!! The only musical watching once you are past the age of 12 is Grease. 

I know I am harsh, but I can't help it. Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray are very annoying to me. Her voice sucks, and she is a slut-bag for dating someone in his twenties. And don't even get me STARTED about her "Oops I seemed to misplace all my clothing except this bed sheet" photo shoot.

 Talk about non-judgmental, right? 

SHUT UP AND LISTEN

[g-rizz}

B$

  I am simply torn. I mean Hannah Montana; the name itself is soooo annoying! Yet, at times, I find The Climb stuck in my head. Also, can I just say that the Vanity Fair photos were gross. She was like 14 and wrapped in a sheet. She looked like she'd just got up from a one night stand. Weird! However, regardless of what I think, or what anyone thinks, she is laughing her way to the bank with a silly name. I think Hannah Montana and Miley are both ridiculous names,but at the end of the day she is still an incredibly rich celebrity and I am still B-money. 

    Peace Out Alfalfa Sprouts!

   {B$}

Success.

Dear Readers,

         How's life? Today has been pretty slammed. We've been thinking lots of positive thoughts lately. With times as uncertain as these, it can't hurt to think positive and put your best foot forward. As we always say, stay strong. We think today we will just vent a little bit and discuss positive thinking and how it benefits us! We want you to think positive too because, we're pretty sure your general quality of life will be improved.

           xoxo,

               G-Rizz and B-money

   P.S. did we say "think" enough in the first paragraph! Our bad lol

G-Rizz

Sometimes being able to look at what you have rather than what you don't have is the greatest talent known to man. If there is anything I have learned this year at college, it is that the way you see yourself has direct effects on your life. If you think you are worthless and stupid, those are the vibes you will put out not just to other people, but into your school work, relationships, etc. Love yourself. Love what you do. And if you don't, make a change. 

I plan to have the greatest, most adventuresome summer I have ever had. How, you ask? Very simply. By spending as much time as I can with people I care about. By being outside. By not taking the small things in life for granted. 

It may sound cheesy, and maybe it is, but living a joyful and happy life is a goal we should all try to attain. 

We'll keep you posted on our wild and crazy summer, dudes. 

SHUT UP AND LISTEN

[g-rizz]

B$

     Ok guys. Basically, I think to myself: "Oh man, I would love to have lots of money, hang out with friends and family, and travel a lot." But then sometimes I think: "Dude. Like that's ever gonna happen!" I need to stop that. I should always be thinking about how stoked I am to have a PJ(private jet), or how sweet it will be to have a talk show. I recommend that y'all start thinking that way too! I mean, anything's possible right? If you want to start a bakery, start a bakery. Hell, if you want to sell sex toys and you're good at that, well do that(to each his own dudes).

   My message for today is: Do what you love. You'll be good at it because you love it, and there will be demand for you.

  {B$}

Gidday Mates!

Dear Readers! 

Good 'Ay Mates! Today we would like to reveal to you our obsession with the late Steve Irwin, and everything Australian. If you're Australian, we probably think you're really hip and adventurous! Perhaps you might want to invite us to the outback? The Sydney Zoo? Anywhere in Australia? We also love Australian accents. Seriously, who doesn't like Australian accents?

     We hope you have a great day. We also guarantee that the quality of your day will be vastly improved if you speak in an Aussie accent for the rest of the day.

        Hooroo! (Hooroo: goodbye, with the implication of seeing you later. Thank you Aussie slang Dictionary!)

   Stay like a roo bar! ( Stay strong, a roo bar is a strong metal bar placed in the front of vehicles to protect them against hitting a kangaroo. God we love Australia.)

G-Rizz

Crikey!!! 

Australians are just amazing people, I have decided. I miss the days of watching a new Steve Irwin episode, learning tidbits about the Aussie Outback, and being shocked and amazed by his bravery. All Australians must be overly awesome...Keith Urban, anyone? 

So, g-day to you fine followers! Are you going to get "goog" since it' s Friday? (Goog = Aussie slang for "drunk".) I'm not. Alas, I have finals next week. We've had enough "liquid laugh" (aka vomit) for a while anyways. 

YAY AUSTRALIA

SHUT UP AND LISTEN

[g-rizz]

B$

Gidday(hello)!! Onya(well done) for reading this blog mates! You're good blokes(people) you are! You're not drongos(dim-witted people) at all! All right now I'm going to take a Smoko(break for tea) with Johnno(Johnathon).

Hooroo!(Peace out Alfalfa Sprouts!)

   {B$}

Rainbows, and a case of lust.

Dear Readers,

Today we'd like to bring up a very interesting fad. Rainbow Sandals. No matter where you go to school at least 95% of the college population owns a pair of these super leathery sandals. Why do people dig this footwear so much? Do you like Rainbows? Why are they even called Rainbows? They're not rainbow colored. Our opinions on the matter to follow. Stay strong.

xoxo,

G-Rizz and B-Money

 

G-Rizz

When I first arrived on my college campus, I felt very out of place. Not because people were mean or rude or anything, but because I did not own a pair of luxury sandals that we like to call Rainbows. Have you ever noticed that after you wear them for more than a month or so, they look like you ran them over with your car and then baked them in the oven?

 I enjoy them, but I must bring up a point – I suffered gnarly blisters before they became a treat to wear. I am still undecided if the $50 I paid are worth my while.

Another random point:

 I was in the free Biology computer lab, minding my own business, printing out some essays, when I saw Him. Yes, Him. A stunning god, sent down from the heavens, meant for me to look at.

There he was, his white t-shirt grasping at his bulging muscles in all the right places, his smile highlighting the fact that I will probably never see another such angel.

So, dear readers, once you are caught staring at the object of your lust, what is there to do but get the hell out of dodge?

 

I’m in love with you babe, and I don’t even know your name.

SHUT UP AND LISTEN

[g-rizz]

 

B$

I have a nifty pair of rainbows! I think they're swell. Flip flops in general are stylish, comfy, and cater to the laid back beach boy style life that I think everyone would love to lead. However, flip-flops( or thongs as the old folks call them haha! Never gets old!) do have a catch. I've heard they can collapse your arches. OUCH! Rainbows are apparently the best flip-flops for your feet. They're super comfy and good for my feet, and I wear flip flops a lot so they are good in my book.

Yet, they do stain, and there is an imprint of your foot after you wear them for like a week, but hey that's just like saying: "I'm cool and laid back; I don't freak out over a stain. I also take care of my feet."

I guess another draw back is that they're expensivo! I think it's worth it because they last a long time.

So, there is my opinion on rainbows. I still don't know why they’re called rainbows...

Peace Out Alfalfa Sprouts!

{B$}

Everyday Occurrences.

Dear Readers,

     Life is an interesting thing. Sometimes we're sick of it, and other times we are high on it. We guess the whole point of this blog is to brighten your day by bringing to light the everyday occurrences that intrigue and amuse us. The times are pretty crazy right now so we hope we can give you a good laugh! Also, regarding the current times, take heed of the ever-wise Beach Boys and Don't Worry Baby!!! In other words, STAY STRONG!!

   xoxo,

      G-Rizz and B-money

G-Rizz

This entire past week I have had a burning question for the world: Why do people unicycle? 

I'm unsure about your location, dear followers, but where I am there seems to be a big influx of unicyclists. They can be seen awkwardly peddling up hills, carrying groceries, and even (dare I say it) texting. I have made several observations regarding this practice:

1) If there is the slightest incline of the terrain, I can walk faster than the persevering cycler

2) The seat of the one-wheeled Hot Rod appears as if it would give its jockey a severe wedgie

3) No one who sits atop a unicycle makes use of a helmet

4) Inexperienced peddlers can be easily spotted. Note how their arms flail about as they slowly (and wildly) make their way about their college campus

5) If one were to fall off of such a mode of transportation, a coat of armor would be necessary to save the person from major injury

6) I have never seen a female riding a unicycle. I have not yet come to a conclusion about what this means.

Damn you, Unicyclists! Your mysterious ways are really beginning to get to me. Readers - if you have any insight on the matter, let me know. 

SHUT UP AND LISTEN

[g-rizz]

B$

    Pizza rolls. Unsuspecting, you are chilling in your kitchen, eatin tastey pizza roll snacks, with your fam or crew. You take your first bite thinking, "Damn this is gonna be good." Out of nowhere, hot pizza roll magma bursts from the pocket scorching anything in its path. Perhaps the side of your mouth, or your hand; and god forbid you were walking and eating and your little sister was walking near you only to be scalded on her face! 

    You could have waited for them to cool but, oh no, these snacks aren't eaten on a regular basis; so, every time you have them you forget about the last snack feast's events.

    Advice?

       Remember how much chaos can occur from lack of Pizza Roll Safety. Let them cool or be a fool.

            Peace out Alfalfa Sprouts!

  {B$}  Snack Injury Preventer

Dude. Are you serious?!

Dear Readers,

Yesterday we planned to begin the blog with the happening line: "We'd like to take this time to make a shout out to the recentley deceased Millvina Dean!" Unfortunately, something else caught B-money's eye this fine morning on the front page of her hometown paper and she simply had to vent.

Stay strong, and,don't worry, we'll probably continue our tribute to Millvina Dean in tomorrow's entry and you can find out who she is!

xoxo,

g-rizz and b-money

G-Rizz

I admit that I was unaware of the outrageous occurrence mentioned below by B$ until about 45 seconds ago. So, my Precious Followers, you should read her portion before mine.

Are you done now? Ok, good.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!?! People are fucking morons. I am sorry if you are offended my my harsh language, but this is outrageous. How can someone think it is not alright for a woman to choose to end her pregnancy, but that it is perfectly alright to kill this Doctor? In CHURCH no less. 

While I think we can all agree that abortion is a very sensitive subject that is not to be taken lightly, valuing the opinions of others is just as important. Even though I do not under stand "pro-life" individuals (am I anti-life because I believe in a woman's right to choose?) I still understand that they have a right to an opinion. There is a fine line between disagreeing on a matter and ending it in death, though. Fuck that guy. 

I hope he gets what's coming to him in prison.

In any case, our hearts go out to this deceased Doctor and his family. 

And folks, don't murder. It's not classy. 

SHUT UP AND LISTEN

[g-rizz]

B$

I wake up this morning right? Yes I did; I don't even know why I asked you guys that. Anyway, I come downsatirs and the first thing I see on the coffee table is the front page of the paper. The headline reads: Abortion doctor killed at church. Meaning a man, opposed to late term abortion, shot the 67 year old doctor while he was ushering at church. DUDE. ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Since he is against late-term abortion, I assume that this dude(the shooter) is against murder??? Well what better a way to express your hate on murder than by killing a 67 year old doctor, father of four, grandfather of 10, while he was at church. YOU'RE A DICK.

Peace Out Alfalfa Sprouts! Don't kill people. It's not cool.

{B$}